Entrepreneurship has a special way of shining light on that parts of us that need attention. You may have all the ambition in the world, and doing everything in your power to reach success — only to find yourself coming up short in your goals.
Throughout our lives, we pick up stories and beliefs that start to shape how we interact in the world and you might start to see some patterns emerge. From self-sabotage to hitting a glass ceiling, your subconscious is very powerful.
Fortunately, neuroscience shows us that it’s possible to reprogram these old patterns and replace them with new neural pathways. You can never change the past, but you can decide not to let it dictate your future.
Lacy Phillips is a a manifestation expert and the founder of To Be Magnetic. She’s also the host of The Expanded Podcast. Here are 3 questions Lacy recommends you ask yourself if you find you are making the same mistakes over and over again.
1. Recognize Your Patterns
It’s time to play detective. Look at all the areas of your life where you keep repeating the same mistakes. “It’s important to look beyond business, because the same personal belief system carries out in all areas of your life,” notes Phillips. “Perhaps all your ex’s only showed you conditional love on their terms and timeline. This could point to an underlying feeling of being not worthy of love. Where did you pick this up? Maybe a parent only expressed affection when you achieved something, leaving you with a sense of, ‘Unless I am good, I am not lovable.’
MORE FOR YOU
“Then, let’s look at how this carries over to your professional life. Maybe instead of establishing yourself as an expert, you are always trying to prove yourself to your boss and people-pleasing with your coworkers or clients,” says Phillips.
2. Rewrite Your Patterns
Think of yourself as the author of your life. Now that you have all of this knowledge around your patterns, what’s the next chapter? “To write a new story, you need to replace the beliefs that hold you back with new, high self-worth beliefs. These new beliefs will help you accomplish your goals in every facet of life, all while getting back to the most genuine version of yourself… sans fear and low self worth,” suggests Phillips.
Another step to take is to choose new habits and patterns. Think about the beliefs and high self-worth you’re working on developing. “If you were to fully embody that belief and level of self-worth right now, what actions would this ‘new you’ take to match your new way of thinking? Perhaps you would start charging full price for your services rather than 60% of what you know they’re worth, or you’d hire someone to manage the financial side of your business after acknowledging that you’re not the best bookkeeper in the world.”
3. Make “Not Settling” Your New Motto
Every time you are tempted to settle for less than you deserve, think of this as a “test.” Will you choose your new, high self-worth beliefs and actions or will you fall back into old patterns and settle for something that’s less than what you want?
“Anytime you settle, you’re allowing something you don’t actually want to take up space in your life that could be occupied by what you actually want. You’re also letting your old habits and limiting beliefs run the show,” reminds Phillips.
“Tests can show up in your life in one of two ways. At times, they look like opportunities. For example, a client is willing to pay full price, but you aren’t actually interested in what they do. Or maybe you see red flags in your business relationship with them. You’re being asked ‘will you settle?’ or do you trust yourself enough to know the right client will come your way and you don’t need to say yes to this one.
“At other times, the test is an emotional trigger. Your partner or a friend was supposed to come with you to an event or a dinner, but they get stuck late at work and have to cancel on you at the last minute. In the past, you’d be angry at them and you’d be anxious about going to the event alone. Now that you’ve become more aware of your patterns and the role they play in your life, when a situation like this pops up again, you can allow yourself to feel your emotions around this without completely going down the rabbit hole and losing sight of the big picture.”
Next time you catch yourself repeating an old pattern or falling prey to a limiting belief, stop the subconscious self-sabotage by going through these three steps. Eventually these practices will become second nature, and you’ll see more drastic changes in your business and in your life than you ever could have anticipated.